Academic Blunders and Stretchmarks: the Rantings of an English Teacher

It's been a while since I've posted. Why? I've been busy attending preparational meetings for a WASC visit to our school--and it's my year to be evaluated as a high school English teacher.

Maybe Arnold (the Governator)is right. Maybe we do need to destroy the public school system.

An administrator just walked into my class for an "informal observation". Luckily, my class kicks ass (informally).

Here is the form I am supposed to fill out (to show that my classroom teaching adheres to the proper formula):

Post Informal Observation Information Sheet

Teacher _______________ Date Informally Observed ______________

Period _______________ Class ______________


I. Lesson Objective as Stated by Teacher
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

II. List the content (academic) standards and benchmarks used in this lesson for the students.
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________


III. List professional teaching standards incorporated in the lesson.

_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________


IV. List schoolwide student goals (SSG’s) addressed in the lesson and briefly explain connection.
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________
_______________________________________________________

Thank you for your input.

What this means: for my lesson I should have three different sets of standards in mind as I teach. Presumably, for every lesson I teach I should have three different sets of standards bulwarking my otherwise feeble lessons.

I will confess something to you; other than this one lesson, I will not have a clue as to how these standards apply to my classroom on a daily basis. I am embarassed by this confession. I can feel you wondering whether or not my students are mastering Standard 3.5. Some of you are shaking your head, realizing that when it comes to professional teaching standard 1.4 I am a joke. I also must openly admit that I do not understand all of the SSGs (originally, I thought an SSG was a gastro-intestinal illness).

Teachers are supposed to hang a large copy of the Standards and Benchmarks in our class, which I have dutifully done--right above the garbage can. Any of my students can crumple paper and throw a bank-shot off the large laminated sheet. Yes, it is laminated. It is the only thing laminated in my classroom, as if to protect it from sudden hurricanes or madmen attacking with buckets of water. It hangs like the Declaration of Co-dependence.

Here is a 9th grade standard: "Applies knowledge of Greek, Latin and Anglo-Saxon roots and affixes to draw inferences". Apparantly, this is supposed to be quite clear to each freshmen student who marches past it each day.

"Mr Donohoe?" says a cheerful student. "What are we going to do today?"
"Today class, we are exploring Standard 1.6!" I reply, and I step aside so they can see.
"Mr. Donohoe? What are affixes?"
"Easy, my cheerful student! Those are the end-parts of words! Not to be confused with 'prefixes' which we won't be doing as they are not part of the standards and benchmarks."
"Mr. Donohoe? How do you draw inferences?"
"Well, you make a conclusion or reasonable guess based on the information you have."
"You mean we're not drawing pictures?"
"Nope! Not part of the standards!"
"What's an Anglo-Saxon?"
"A large, bearded man who used to roam the earth pillaging villages so he could leave us words!"

And then the bell rings without my having the time to explain just how we are supposed to "apply knowledge".