Goldilocks tastes like stupid

A freshman English students writes about his favorite childhood myth:

Goldilocks and the three bears was my favorite because the little girl deserved to get her face ripped off by the bears. If she's going to steal food from these most likely starving bears then the bears deserve to eat the uneducated girl. In fact, if I came home and someone had raided my fridge, sat in my chair, and was sleeping in my bed I'd probably eat her too. The story also taught that you should never piss off a family of bears and to not trespass in someone's house especially when they're 9 feet tall, have claws and could probably lift a car.